obstacles

january 15, 2011

two things have been getting in the way of what I would call real progress. 

first - everything else in life.  do you ever feel like you are so busy just getting through the day that there's no time for anything else?

wake up
get ready
make breakfast
get talyn ready
take t to school
go to work
pick up t from school
make dinner
bath t
put t to bed
clean up
make t lunch
crawl to bed
repeat

second - my immune system.  i have just been feeling sluggish and exhausted at the end of the day and i recently found out why.  my body wanted to again house the flu and really embrace what that feels like.  yesterday i slept 17 hours and took 4 emergen-cs and today woke up feeling much more like myself. 

i have been able to move forward with a couple of new things.  they will seem ridiculous for someone that is 36 years old, but here goes. 

first, i went to mr. lube.  i have always been a "take your car to the dealer, sit while they fix it, pay what they tell you to, drive away feeling like you can check that off for the quarter" kind of girl.  but my dealer won't drive me home anymore, so change was forced.  mr. lube was a lot the same, except they are way closer to my house, much quicker and friendlier.  i must have made it sound so good that talyn asked if he could please come next time. 

second, t and i got out to the mountains to both start our lessons.  he is learning to ski and me snowboard.  it's something that's been on my life list forever, but growing up in SK and the health things my family has been though haven't really allowed me to do that.  the roads were a bit sketchy, but our friends drove us with them, while I closed my eyes in the back and took deep breaths.  this weekend i'll try the drive myself - another big first - mountain driving on my own with t. 

these things might seem small to most of you and i used to be a very independent person before ryan and talyn that might have thought the same.  then i got into a world where life and death health challenges were very real and my world turned on its side.  simple new things cause me more worry/anxiety than most because the world i have lived in hasn't been one where i have felt safe.  the worst things that most people worry about have happened in my life and so now my mind goes to those places more easily. 

in the past, meds seemed like the easy way to get me through what I needed and to get back to "normal" very quickly.  but this time i am trying all of the regular things I can - exercise, natural supplements, a great therapist, deep breathing and calling my friends to talk things through.  and of course one of the best things has been to try these new things and confirm that i can do them on my own.  

these are the things that really push us forward to experience even more new things and that is one of the things life is all about.  so now over to you - what new things have you tried this week?

have a great week,tasha